A Father

Grieving a loss 3 Tips how to start to win the inner war with yourself

Grieving a Loss There’s no doubt that every person Grieving a loss, starts out with a whole lot of questions, especially at the beginning of Grieving the loss of a loved one’s process. The problem is, without the right answers, most people Grieving a loss throw up their hands and just give up. Luckily for you, here are my top 3 tips for what you should think of doing when Grieving the loss of a loved one. Tips every person who is Grieving a loss may think they know, but must be reminded, so you can begin to win the war that you wage with your inner self. 1st we need to understand whats going on. What we need to understand about grieving a loss and the inner war that we have with our self is this. Think of it as something like a pro-cons list We wage war with our self each day as I say. It’s the inner game that beats us every time. This is the waves of emotions that’s what...
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A Father

Overcoming Grief: Steps you can take

Guest Post – David Miller – Overcoming Grief: Steps You Can Take to Forge Your Own Path from Grieving to Healing Grief can be all-encompassing. In the midst of it, life grinds to a halt. The mental, emotional, and physical energy you used to devote to your daily tasks is now devoted to grieving. When my sister died in a car accident seven years ago, my grief was so demanding that I took an extended leave of absence from work a year after her death, just to deal with the overwhelming loss. During this time, grief consumed most of each day. As a result, I could only manage to accomplish one or two things a day: Take one phone call, wash a sink-full of dishes, do a load of laundry.  On the worst days, my grief felt like a leaden weight, confining me to my apartment or my bed, where I spent the day missing my sister. Grief was not so much an emotion as much as a full-time job, without the pay and...
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Grief

Am I OK? It’s years later, I Don’t feel OK

Am I OK? I Don’t feel OK. So what do you do when you ask yourself. Am I OK? I don’t feel OK. It’s years later, you ask yourself this question, then what. Shouldn’t you be OK by Now? WOW, I had asked myself this question so many times over the years. There were days, I would answer yes and those days I would answer no or maybe I just wasn’t sure. Let me say this.  From what I have learned about myself and talking to others. I listen to what people say to a grieving person or comment about somebody who is grieving. They question the person who is grieving, it’s been years later, they begin to tell them or put into their head that they are not OK and ask if they should get help because they should be better now. Who are these people? I ask the question, who are these people who would say that or think this about someone who is grieving a loss. A loss that may be...
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Grief

100% All In

Are You 100% All In If I was or somebody was to ask you if you are 100% All In what would you say? All In – What does it mean to you? Most people will think it has something to do with gambling. You through all your chips in, one last chance to win. You’re holding all the A’s. To me it means – When I make a decision to do something that I go all in. I feel as my training in sports as well as the coaches that I have had in life has developed this in me. Not to mention my business practices of the years. We’re faced with a decision to make, it’s not a question if it’s a right or wrong. It’s that we must make the decision and make it the right one. Work to bring about the outcome that we desire. So all in means that at all cost I will do everything in my power, focus and desire that is required to bring about the...
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A Father

Workplace grief

Workplace grief Do you or have you had to deal with workplace grief? When I lost my daughter in 1993 I owned my own business, so I didn’t really have to deal with workplace grief. I was the boss. I have heard so many others that I have talked with over the years that tell such a different story about workplace grief. I could make a long list of the comments that I have heard about. What would you say Now you may know how it is to lose a close loved one. If someone called tomorrow and said that they just experienced a loss of a loved one, what would you say to them? If you were the supervisor in charge of running a department and had to turn a profit. I know what I would say, but for many supervisors and owners that don’t understand and have to track the bottom line their answer may be very different. Did you know that $ billions dollars of revenue are lost in Business...
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Grief

Big Heart

Big Heart If your grieving the loss of a loved one you are living with a broken heart. I feel that one of the best cures for a broken heart is to have a big heart. What do I mean by broken heart vs a big heart? I’ll do my best to explain. I lived with a broken heart for so many years, in fact for over 20+ years. There were times during that over 20 years that I had found myself giving to others out of the need to help others. After putting myself out there not to mention being vulnerable with my feelings my problems with life along with the grief I was living with for that short time left me. Or maybe it was that I just didn’t think of it all that much. This went on for many years never understanding or realizing that giving of myself to others in their time of need whatever that was, it was helping me with my grief. It is hard to give to...
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A Father

P.T.S.D. What I don’t understand this?

What I don’t understand this. I saw this on the news this morning. There are a lot of things that I have learned to keep my mouth shut on, this one I have to say something. When I saw the report on TV I had to say What I Don’t Understand This. I’m a veteran of the Air Force. I retired from the military 2 years before the 1st Gulf War. So I have to hand it to those who served in the wars for their bravery, leaving their family behind and to fight for our country. Many lost their life, some lost limbs and have suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or other wise known as battle fatigue for those in the military. Download a free PDF on the subject I think everyone knows what I’m talking about if not read on. I think you may know where I’m going with this. You may be saying what the hell is that? Well I’ll get to it, but first I...
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A Father

Greatest Loss

Greatest loss in life Death is not the greatest loss in life.  This is the quote by Norman Cousins I live by. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. Norman Cousins This took me a long time to understand what it meant. As I felt that the greatest loss that I could suffer was the loss of my daughter Kelsey. You see there is nothing we can change about our past, as they say it is, what it is.  I really hate that saying. I lived in the past no mater how much I said I didn’t. I had tied all the events of my life, to where I am. I had learned to pass blame on those events 23 years ago on June 15, 1993. To feel as a failure as a father and husband, that all this was such a waste. Life is not so simple as black and white. It happened. I can’t change it no matter how much I want to. So I can choose to...
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A Father

The strongest people I know

Strongest people I know. What do you think? Who do you think are the strongest people I know ? It’s real simple if you think about it. I’m not talking about a physical strength. It’s more about a mental toughness. The strongest people I know…… Grieving Parents These are the strongest people I know. They have endured such a hardship regardless of the age of the child. So many grieving parents try to hold together the family that is left behind. All the time putting other people’s needs in their grief before their own. I will say as a grieving parent for the past 23 years. I feel that I do not hold a candle to many of these people. Their stories are so full of pain and sorrow. So the strongest people I know are grieving parents at all levels of loss regardless of age. Do you know a grieving parent? I’m sure you do. You just may not know that you do. I ask that you seek out a grieving parent and...
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A Father

Grief in the New Year

Grief in the New Year Yes, Grief in the New Year, You may be asking where do I go now. You survived the year and maybe it has been many years. You are starting to ask yourself what do I need to do with my grief and loss. Grief in the new year Not everyone wishes to do anything different after they have moved through the stages of grief. I hear it all the time and have found myself saying it. That is, that I wish things would be the same. Well I hate to say it but it will never be the same. You have a choice it can get a lot worse or it can get better. The choice is yours. It has been a long 23+ year journey for me but I choose a better life. I don’t know about you. So that’s why I bring up grief in the new year. Today is January 1, 2017. It is a new year and many of us believe it is a new...
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