Motivation

#1 Tip to finding your cause and mission in life

#1 Tip to find your cause and mission in life My #1 tip for finding your cause and mission in life following a loss. I went over 23 years looking for a meaning behind my loss, How I can bring something positive out of something that was the worst day in my life. My #1 tip is to develop your story. Understand that your cause and meaning is deep inside of you. Understand that you’ll have to dig deep and peal back the layers of your story to find your passion, your mission and statement. What is so important to you? You’ll find that what you’re looking for. It took me over 20+ years to learn this. How to find my cause and mission in life. If someone would have shared this with me so long ago. How many people could I of made a difference in. How many lives would have been changed or saved. If you could tell your story to bring change to bring awareness to others. What would you say?...
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Motivation

Who is your Hero when it comes to having Hope following a loss

Who is your hero for having hope following a loss? When I lost my daughter in 1993 I would have never looked at another who lost a loved one as  my HERO. However I had a friend that come to me and told me his story of loss. You see what he shared with me is a story of such tragedy and out of that tragedy come so much hope and for this reason I would name him my HERO for hope following a loss. His Story As he shared with me that he and his wife with their son was driving down the highway on this day that is no different from any other day that you or I would be driving down the road. An oncoming truck went left of center, as he tried to avoid the truck, they hit head on. The driver side sustained the majority of the damage. For some reason he walked away. However his wife, son did not survive the accident. Why he shared his story You...
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Grief

100% All In

Are You 100% All In If I was or somebody was to ask you if you are 100% All In what would you say? All In – What does it mean to you? Most people will think it has something to do with gambling. You through all your chips in, one last chance to win. You’re holding all the A’s. To me it means – When I make a decision to do something that I go all in. I feel as my training in sports as well as the coaches that I have had in life has developed this in me. Not to mention my business practices of the years. We’re faced with a decision to make, it’s not a question if it’s a right or wrong. It’s that we must make the decision and make it the right one. Work to bring about the outcome that we desire. So all in means that at all cost I will do everything in my power, focus and desire that is required to bring about the...
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Motivation

Design your ideal life

Design your ideal life What do you think about when I ask the question, Design your ideal life? Before you answer that, let me tell you a little bit about what I think of that question. If someone would have said that to me after my daughter had passed away. I would have laughed at them and said you have to be joking. How in the world can I do that without my daughter in my life? I hated my life so much that I wanted it to end, let alone look to the future. It just wasn’t a very promising outlook for me. Years later Fast forward years later if you were to ask me to design my ideal life, I would love to explore that idea. Some people would say, right you would say that because it has been 23+ years following my daughter’s death. Not so fast. I have met so many people not to mention worked with many people who are 20, 30 years in their journey with grief that...
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A Father

Greatest Loss

Greatest loss in life Death is not the greatest loss in life.  This is the quote by Norman Cousins I live by. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. Norman Cousins This took me a long time to understand what it meant. As I felt that the greatest loss that I could suffer was the loss of my daughter Kelsey. You see there is nothing we can change about our past, as they say it is, what it is.  I really hate that saying. I lived in the past no mater how much I said I didn’t. I had tied all the events of my life, to where I am. I had learned to pass blame on those events 23 years ago on June 15, 1993. To feel as a failure as a father and husband, that all this was such a waste. Life is not so simple as black and white. It happened. I can’t change it no matter how much I want to. So I can choose to...
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A Father

Triggers – Setting Now Thoughts

Triggers – setting now thoughts to release your negative thoughts or are you just feeling down and can’t get out of the funk you’re in. I know the feeling all to well, we all have those days, some more than others. Have you wondered how to reset your thoughts using Triggers – setting now thoughts I have struggled with this question for a long time. When I have a negative thought or feeling that I can’t get the memories of my daughter’s death or it’s around a certain day of the year. You can’t hold a negative and a positive thought at the same time. If you can, let me know how to do that. So the question is how do you change that thought in your head to something more to your liking such as something that would be a positive thought or memory. Using Triggers to set your now thoughts How do you trigger a now thought? We all see things in our day-to-day routine that will trigger a thought in our...
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A Father

Are you lost? 10 steps to change your life today

Do you have the feeling that you are lost. You get up each day and go through the motions. Have you ever asked yourself the question that you want to change your life? So many people want the results now. We are in a life that everything is right at our finger tips. We want something just push a button. Look at your phone, social media, it will give me the answers. For myself it has been a 22 year-long journey following the death of my daughter. I have learned so much about myself, the grief that I have survived. But most of all how to be true to myself and the feelings that I feel on a daily basis. Be Honest You must be honest with yourself. I know that I had felt this way for the most of my life after my daughter passed away. Do you feel that you have no direction? Do you feel tired before your day has started? Do you have fear of facing people and you would...
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A Father

Belief Everything happens for a reason

Belief Do you have belief that everything happens for a reason? Think about it, what has happened in your past that you feel it has happened for a reason. Or maybe you don’t have the belief that things happen in our lives for a reason. We have faith that allows us to believe in something that we may not see or understand, I call this our belief system. We either believe in something or not. It’s our choice to have this belief. I know when I was thinking about the events of my past that all this happened for a reason. I questioned that. It’s like saying that my daughter passed away for a reason. So maybe I’m telling myself that she had to die. This was not my belief. It’s more like how I react to what has happened. How I can use this for good. It has taken many years of work on myself to see life this way. It didn’t happen overnight. Let me tell you that I don’t believe that...
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A Father

Life lookout for the good

Life – Yes we must lookout for the good in life. If your life has been anything close to mine, you may be saying to yourself what has been good about it? I lost my daughter over 22 years ago and life has been a roller coaster ride to say the least over those years. Lookout for the good in life I know it’s so hard to do in the midst of surviving grief in your life. It may not have been all that long ago or many years later. I still have those days that I think of Kelsey and can’t stop thinking of what could have been.  I have learned that I can’t keep looking at life that way. This is the life that I have been given, I must make the most of it. I didn’t start to think this way until many years later. The loss of my daughter in just one event in my life. Would I do anything to change that? You bet I would. I can’t change...
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A Father

What is your most important goals for 2016

What is your most important goals for 2016. That is if you do not hit any other goal that you have then nothing else will matter. Think of this as long-term for your life. With New Year’s just a little over 24 hours away. I’m sure you are setting a New Year’s resolution. Some of the most popular are the same that I have set for myself over the years. For example: Lose weight Save money Live a happy life Make more money Better relationships Spend more time with God Find new love Eat better Get a better Job Start a business These are some of the ones that most people all want. Now these are all good ones to work towards, as I’m sure that there are many more that I didn’t list. Now going back to that question I asked earlier If you do not reach any of theses goals nothing else would matter. What would that goal be? I have been thinking about this a lot over the last month or...
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