A Father

Christmas Message From My Home

A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM MY HOME I would like to extend a Christmas message from my home. I know that this is a very difficult day for so many. My prayers go out to you as I would like to remember each one of us that are grieving this Christmas. This has been my 22nd Christmas without my daughter in the physical world, she is with me everyday. I can’t change the events of the past. I do count my blessings that I do have and there are so many. I’m truly grateful. A fellow blogger and grieving Father (Dad) wrote a great post 4 years ago He writes an intro to his post “I wrote the following blog post 4 years ago, but because of its popularity and the fact it still holds true today, I thought it would be good to share it with all of the new grieving dads that have followed this blog since 2011.  Wishing you #8221;  Kelly Farley I would like to tag it here as I feel...
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A Father

Grief and giving thanks on Thanksgiving

A Father’s Story of Thanksgiving. Grief and giving thanks on Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? This thanksgiving is my 22nd without my daughter. I have been thinking what to write about this topic of Thanksgiving. We are to be thankful for all that we have. All I have left from my daughter are the memories. I am looking back to that first Thanksgiving without her here. What can I say – that first Thanksgiving it is a blur not many memories there. Grief and giving thanks on Thanksgiving I just wanted to go to sleep on Wednesday night and sleep through that day and wake up Friday. Who can relate to that? One of the biggest hangups that I had on Thanksgiving day was looking into the future, seeing empty seats where her family would be sitting. That may sound strange, that’s what had me more upset than anything. I have been wracking my brain to remember that day and for the life of me I can only remember a few things that have stayed...
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A Father

The art of grieving

The art of grieving, why do I call it an art as it is a craft of something that must be achieved? This is not what I’m talking about here. But we must learn how to deal with our grief so we may be able to function through each day. Or should I say to survive each day as it delivers all the challenges that grief deals us. The art of grieving your loss, what it means to me is that we all grieve in our own way as there is no right or wrong way to grieve. This is the art of grieving. Or at least understanding our grief and how it may affect our lives and others around us. Our grief can be a very harmful to us if it goes unchecked. It starts with our thinking, we must understand as it states in the bible that a man is what he thinks. What we think so we become. Now with that being said we are struggling with our grief and just...
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A Father

It’s Hard To Practice What You Preach

It’s Hard To Practice What You Preach when things in your life are not always going the way you would like them to. Here I’m writing and vlogging about grief, staying positive and then as I’m trying to help others and all of a sudden you are feeling down and the day just doesn’t seem to be all good like the days before. Then you look forward to the days to come and you don’t feel all that positive about them. How many of you have ever felt this way before? I’m sure we all feel that way from time to time and some of us are stuck in that mind-set. How do you turn it around and get back on the right path that makes you feel better about your day and your direction you are going? You can read all the books watch all the videos and listen to all the right people and you still don’t feel the way you would like to. Well let me tell you what I have...
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A Father

Grief and the Holidays

Grief and the holidays, what questions do you have about your grief and the holidays as they are approaching very fast being today is the 1st of November. I can remember my first Thanksgiving and Christmas or at least parts of it being 22 years ago. Most of it was a blur and why is it we seem to remember or recall what wasn’t pleasant or bad? What I do recall is the family getting together at my parents house, my sister was there with her daughter, she is about the same age as my daughter Kelsey just a few months apart in age. This was very hard to see her enjoying Christmas with all the presents for her. Now we do have another daughter that was 9 years old that was also celebrating Christmas. We spent the time with her and watched her open they presents she had. What I remember most is that my sister and I got in an argument.  I was upset that they were all happy and it just seamed...
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A Father

Halloween a visit to the pumpkin patch

Sunday October 25, 2015 we go out to the Halloween a visit to the pumpkin patch with the granddaughter Mayleigh also with our 1 1/2 years old foster child that we’ll call child 1. As I have said that this is one of my favorite times of the year. The changing of the leaves with all the colors. Going to the pumpkin patch with our 6 month old granddaughter was a real treat for us. We were not sure what she would think of it all as she was real grumpy before we went. As for a our foster child that is a year and half old this would be his second one, not knowing what kind of home life he came from and if he even got a pumpkin is first year. I know what you are thinking as they are this young. That they will never remember it.  Well let me say this coming from me who is a grieving father that the memories sometimes are for us the grandparents or parents...
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A Father

Change your story and change your life

 Change your story and change you life So you are in the middle of your grief and all the pain that goes with that. You are working through the stages of grief and you just don’t feel like you want to change your story and change your life or any part of your story as you may feel guilty if you were to do that. Maybe your loved one just passed away right at the beginning of the holidays and your grief and feelings are just too fresh in your mind to even begin to make any changes. The most important part of your grief is to continue to work through the stages of grief.  You may be asking what I am talking about with the stages of grief.  I had to learn this for myself as nobody ever let me know about the stages of grief and how it was to impact me on how to deal with everything I was going through. Stages of grief. Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance If you...
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A Father

What’s your life’s story

What’s your life’s story? What would you tell me about your story? As we look at the up and coming holidays and we are preparing for them and you and I were talking, I asked you what your story is. What would you tell me? What I’m getting at is that our story defines us, it is who we are, the more we think about our story the more we become like our story. For example if you have been writing in your mind about your story as your life is now after the loss of your loved one, you may be living that story in the present. It can bring into your life many different emotions that may not be very pleasant. Your fears about the holidays are a direct result of what your story is and what you have been thinking about.  99% of your fears and worries never come true. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about here. I’ll tell you my story from that 1st Christmas that...
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A Father

Fear of change over the Holidays

Fear of change over the Holidays Change We may not like change in our life at all, but when a tragic event such as a loss of a loved one may cause us to take a serious look at change. Change can and does bring about fear as we generally feel much more comfortable with the way things are. Effects of Fear of Change In most cases fear of change stops us from taking action in our lives. It often works with anxiety, self-doubt and guilt to help it to do this. Anxiety:  Some stress can be good because it gets us to do something. But there are times when feeling anxious about something new can really limit us to do nothing at all. We may just sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. This often happens if we are not certain about the future. High levels of anxiety are often brought about by: rumors about change, self-doubt, not knowing what to expect, not feeling our concerns are heard …and this can be crippling....
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A Father

Grief and surviving the Holidays

Grief and surviving the Holidays, this is a topic that I have started to write a new book on,  Unfortunately it’s a topic that sneaks up on everyone as it does. This is last day of September and as we go into the last quarter of the year those of us that are grieving the loss of a loved one can catch us completely off guard. No mater if it’s our first time or it has been many years. It never really gets easier but we just know how to deal with people and the time of the year better Now that you feel that you have done the hard work of surviving your loved ones death and the funeral, now you begin to look at the future, as the season start to change so does your thinking.  You start to worry and fear the upcoming holidays. You may be asking yourself a lot of questions.  Some, you may be able to answer and others you may look to others to help but the...
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