Grieving a lossGrieving a Loss

There’s no doubt that every person Grieving a loss, starts out with a whole lot of questions, especially at the beginning of Grieving the loss of a loved one’s process. The problem is, without the right answers, most people Grieving a loss throw up their hands and just give up. Luckily for you, here are my top 3 tips for what you should think of doing when Grieving the loss of a loved one. Tips every person who is Grieving a loss may think they know, but must be reminded, so you can begin to win the war that you wage with your inner self.

1st we need to understand whats going on.

What we need to understand about grieving a loss and the inner war that we have with our self is this.

Think of it as something like a pro-cons list

We wage war with our self each day as I say. It’s the inner game that beats us every time.

This is the waves of emotions that’s what we say when we feel this going in and out of all the different emotion that we go through while grieving a loss and it can and does for many people last for years to come. Hopefully as you begin to understand what’s going on you get a handle on it as to begin to move forward 1 step at a time.

This picture I believe illustrates it well as we go back and fourth between all our emotions. We wage war with our self.

grieving a loss

Grieving a Loss The Waves of emotions pic. #1

 

Tip #1

Learn the power of the word “NO”

  • Why should every person who is Grieving a loss pay special attention to this tip?
    (This tip is important because…)

This is very powerful to understand right from the start. If we could have had someone tell us to say “NO” at just about every turn in our walk with grief. It could have saved so much heart ache for our self and others.

You see we many time say YES when we don’t want to, or even may LIE about what we want or what we are going through just to not offend somebody or us. We don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or maybe it’s more about us being uncomfortable.

Just say “NO” that you don’t want to talk about it, no need to explain a thing. It’s just better this way for you and them.

  1. You don’t have to go out
  2. You don’t have to go to the family outing
  3. You don’t need to celebrate anything.
  4. You don’t need to get out of bed.
  5. Say NO to just about anything you wish.

Add more to this list. Make it your own

There will come a time that you’ll get back into the swing of things. There is no time frame put on this. It’s up to you

 

Tip #2

Our own words have power

  • What’s the next step when you’re Grieving a loss, you need to take after this?
    (So here’s your next step on the road to Learn how to live with grief.)

The power of our own words. What we say to our self can become our reality if we persist in what we are saying.  Always be truthful in how you are feeling, Don’t lead others on that you may be doing better than you are. You brain and inner self knows the truth. This only keeps that inner war that we are waging with our self going. There is no winner in this battle if we keep saying negative things about how we are doing when it may not be true.

Just refer to the diagram above to see how these waves of emotions react and it can keep you stuck right where you are today and everyday.

I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. That was right where I had been for over 20+ years. You don’t want to be there

 

Tip # 3

Power of knowledge from others

  • How can you use this to Learn to live with grief?
    (Here’s how you can use this tip to Learn to live with grief.)

Knowledge is power. We have lost our power or as I say we have become Dis-Empowered through a life event such as a loss of a loved one. Your grieving a loss this is something that may be very new and most of us are lost and do not know where to turn for help.

Learn everything you can become a sponge as I did. I needed to understand everything as that’s just the way I’m wired. Many times I had to travel that road by myself. That’s OK if need to.

Seek out those that have walked the walk before you. They can be a trusted source of knowledge as they understand right where you are now and where you’ll be tomorrow. Now they may only be 1 or 2 steps ahead of you in your grief. That’s just fine. It is just as much help to them as it is to you.

Don’t be afraid to open up and talk about your loss to these people. Do not keep it in. However just remember the 2 tips before. Tip #1 That power of “NO” when you do not wish to engage in that conversation and Tip #2 The power of our words,they have more meaning to you than they do to others.

Put them together with Tip #3 you will have more knowledge about your grief and the inner war that you are waging with yourself.

 

Summary of thought

  • This represents just a summary of the tips that are given to Grieving a loss make / have / need when it comes to Grieving the loss of a loved one. With the consequences of ignoring this advice ranging from weeks, months or even years of wasted effort to throwing tons of money out the window, take the time to educate yourself on the proper methods to get to Learn to live with grief.
  • By the way, if you’re a Grieving a loss and you’re serious, and you really want Learn to live with grief.   Start your Grief Support Members Group Here. I have just started are new Grief Support Group, Titled “Empowering Millions Grief Support Community” it will help you do just that and more! Check it out here:

Blessing and Much Love, Rick

email me at rick@afathersloss.com